Above: MEAN MELIN. Below: SATANICA. Photos by Ryan Layman.

A couple hours before the Kansas City show the soundman bailed on us. We walked a mile to a coffee shop and got buxomly accosted by a Fretty Cougar road goblin type who offered all everything but refused to pour any soy. After the show we went to the Riot Room Bar, the perfect mix of hip hop and hardcore, everyone getting along, until this one guy kicked this other guy in the face. Whodda thunk it from a joint named Riot Room? Afterward we got some falafels from a roach coach parked outside, then got yelled at from inside a retail window for not supporting the roach coach directly across the street, which is allegedly a true neighborhood business (on wheels). As we walked back to the bus a big rig intentionally drove through a muddy ditch, sending murky black shitwater all over Stryker. His next shower was four hundred miles south.

We made it to the hotel in Dallas, thunderstormed and without power. Powerlessness is, of course, the elemental opposite of airness. And then I typed the blog from my iphone.

But here's the rainbow: the shows have kicked fucking ass. Omaha and Kansas City -- brand new markets we played in the middle of the week -- had killer crowds and no dud performances. Even the wildcards have been tearing this shit up, and the hot girls who usually just go up there and do stripper bullshit left those moves back at the poles. Nothing against strippers, I just prefer to hit my clubs in the morning, before the big crowds show up. And our judges have been perfect: surly, shitfaced, and drenched in beer. To top it all off, this morning (not at a strip club, but very close to one) the whole crew came together in a heartfelt toast: "Fuck yesterday."

Tonight it's candles and handles, and a few bottles of that delicious sunshine pink from Boone's Farm, the only sponsors who give a shirt . . . when yours is soaked in a tidal wave from the gutter.

Fuck yesterday with us at The Loft in Dallas this Thursday night. It's gonna fucking rock. Tell the young lady at the merch table that Jar sent you and receive a special gift.