(OULU, FINLAND) -- On a Finnish day that Björn said was the nicest he had ever seen, America proudly showcased her 3.5 representatives in the World Air Guitar Championships.

ZERO PROSPECTS – Björn's better half – made it to the second round on Friday after wowing the judges the night before at the annual Dark Horse competition. Although he failed to advance to the second round, somehow San Francisco's SNAKE RIFKIN also slinked into the show.

Joining ZERO PROSPECTS in the second round was HOT LIXX HULAHAN and WILLIAM OCEAN. Both performers were challenged to rock out to the weirdest track ever, "Animal" by who the eff knows. In Oulu, thousands watched as Ocean, Hot Lixx, and the other international superstar performers came together to air guitar for world peace. Online, thousands more watched the live stream and got censored by the chat widget. Even "gay" was censored, which one user declared as "totally racist."

Said competitor Netherlands' TREMOLO TUNE to the thousands in attendance, "it's a youtube!" Yes, Tremolo. It certainly is.

Adding to the language barrier was America's beloved Björn Türoque, who asked a confused audience "did anyone feel their face melting? No, no, that's a good thing. Face melting is good."

GÜNTAR, France's champion, entered round two in first place and rocked like crazy, viva la Franced, did a backflip, and didn't once drop his guitar. HOT LIXX, the 2008 World Air Guitar champion who was dressed like the Joker from the last batman, kicked axe as always. He finished tied for second with his countryman, WILLIAM OCEAN, who found someone to pull off his signature single-man crowd surf. Although he entered round two in fourth place, OCEAN nearly won the competition with and average compulsory round score of 5.94.West Hays heartily endorses this posting.

HOT LIXX, ZERO PROSPECTS, and WILLIAM OCEAN: You made us proud today.

But taking the whole schbang was France's GÜNTAR LOVE, dressed from head to toe in gold lemay and asking all the American ladies if they like to discothèque.

The thickly accented GÜNTAR dedicated his victory to mosh pit.

Güntar Love, one wild and crazy guy.