On December 25th, 1989, TETRAD's mom got him one of these.  Twenty years later to the day, humanity finds this in its stocking surrounded by cookie crumbs (it's in 4 parts and worth every second):

Part 4: Epic

Watch the other installments here.

The internets are cursed I say.  We posted this letter from Hot Lixx two weeks ago (at least!), but the only guy who agrees with me is me.

From our great nation's co-champ, right after the World Championships in Finlad:

Dear “West”,

I hope you got that decoder ring my management team sent you.  Sorry we had to leave out the letters J-Z but with the economy the way it is we just couldn’t afford them.I haven’t slept in almost 3 days and it is now it is somewhere between Friday and Sunday-ish, I can’t tell, so excuse me if I get all Nordic Thunder on you…

Shortly after it was announced that Ocean and I tied for 2nd place in the 2009 Air Guitar World Championships (Tied!  For second!  How poetic!!) I watched the new king step to his throne.  It occurred to me then that this diminutive, gold lame track-suited, mustachioed, ninny Frenchman was now the figurehead for competitive air guitar.  This homoerotic, crotch-stuffing spaz now represents me and the whole community in which I have become so physically, mentally and emotionally invested.  This ridiculous nerd of a dork just dethroned me.

How fucking sweet is that?!?!?

Now whenever people google or YouTube “air guitar” chances are he’ll be the first thing they see, and frankly I think that is pretty awesome.  The Air Guitar World Championship oeuvre spans a wide spectrum, from the classic and ground-breaking C Diddy routine to the mesmerizing albeit awkward style of Zac “The Magnet” Monroe to the robotic genius of The Destroyer to the chubby Chris Farley meets Forest Gump-ness of Dainoji.  And now we have Gunther.

He is the real deal and anyone who caught his air band, Airnadette, can attest to his creative spirit, unique style, diverse skills, and genuine airness.  Like the other greats he has no shame and gives himself fully to his craft, plus he’s a funny dood to hang out with.  Oh, and perhaps most important, his mustache is real.
For a year I was a man without borders, a citizen of no country, a representative of Earth.  It is a good feeling.  Judgement falls on your actions and not your affiliations, which is comforting when “your people” do some wacky shit you don’t always agree with (war, social service cutbacks, international policy, the canceling of Megan Wants To Marry A Millionaire, etc).  I was honored to pass that opportunity of “world citizen” onto someone else.  Having been familiar with their work and their attitudes there were a few people I was particularly excited to pass the torch to (Buckboard?  Johnny Utah?  Oh yeah, that Ocean guy?) but after seeing this Gunther fella he quickly joined that list.  Now, as champ, he is going to travel the world as a representative of air guitar and he is going to be fun and funny and friendly.  Seeing as how this whole thing is about world peace and all I feel comfortable with him as my diplomat.

Congratulations to him and another Job Well Done to the AGWC family.  They really really kicked arse this year and the turnout was ENORMOUS and ridiculously air-friendly.  It was an honor to be a part of it.  To all my sisters and brothers in air – fuck yeah!  I’ll feel you next year.

–Hot Links Hulahoop, out.

Remember the "pick a number" scene from the social worker's office, and that spooky shrunken head guy has number 3 and Beetlejuice has number 10,000?

Co-starring "the lads" -- ZERO PROSPECTS, BJÖRN TÜROQUE, and HOT LIXX HULAHOOP.

That's right, the Denver Post wrote this piece on twins BIG RIG and STRYKER.

BAR: THE AVENUE GRILL

The Avenue Grill is barely legal — turning 21 this year, sitting at the same spot at 630 E. 17th Ave. It's a classic American bar, a big rectangle dedicated to the cocktail and straightforward American fare with a San Francisco twist. Two-top tables line a window-framed wall looking out onto the avenue. The bar holds 40 stools; the restaurant seats 85. Photos of customers in mighty good spirits squeeze onto the wall to the right of the bar. Look long enough, and you're sure to find a friend or even yourself.

GRILLED: RANDY & RYAN LAYMAN

Randy and Ryan Layman, 28, are identical twins, which causes a few necks to snap when they're both behind the bar Friday nights.

BH:

When you're behind the bar, do you guys get hit on?

Randy & Ryan: Oh, yeah.

[read on, reader]

Twin brothers Ryan and Randy Layman have been competing on the air guitar circuit. (THE DENVER POST | CYRUS MCCRIMMON)