Event page: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?invites&eid=393452713064

Facebook page: www.facebook.com/USAirGuitar

Twitter: www.twitter.com/usairguitar

Now that we're below the fold, did I mention DC's regional law school stud and local NRA enthusiast JURIS ROCKTOR (Mike Sacks) made the first paragraph of the front page of the New York Times? 

From left to right in their Christian Sunday best: Large Blonde Wig, West Hays, Angelica Allen, Fatima Hoang, Kriston Rucker, Kate Gray, Dan Crane, Ryan Layman, Randy Layman.  This and other hella tight photos from the wedding by Taryn Kapronica.

I'd like to say this was all part of USAG Corporate's master marketing plan, but to be perfectly honest we're not that smart (we're not all that young, either).

USAG Global Operations Center

Sadly, we've had to close out entries in several cities already, so if you plan on performing you'll want to sign up soon.  If your local show has been corked, send us a convincing video to contact@usairguitar.com and we'll see what we can do.

Guitars? The Time Has Come Yet Again To Set Aside Childish Things

US AIR GUITAR 2010 TOUR DATES
Regional Competitions Start April 6
Regionals To Be Hosted By Bjorn Turoque & Judged by 2008 World Champion Hot Lixx Hulahan

If history has taught us anything, it is this: the spirit of US Air Guitar is indomitable.

If in January Steve Jobs had unveiled Air Guitar, would it have been any less innovative? If one day the Supreme Court unexpectedly judges a case using the following criteria: technical ability, stage presence, and “airness,” would the rest of us be any worse off? If the last episode of X-Files revealed that Air Guitar was the answer, would you not believe?

With zealous pride we announce the 2010 US Air Guitar tour, now 30% awesomer. Scale back? Heck no. The road awaits, and this year we’re hittin’ it like Tiger Woods. After sell-out regional competitions across the United States last summer, including two nights at DC’s 9:30 Club and consecutive nights at San Francisco’s Independent, US Air Guitar has expanded its tour by two additional months, stretching coast to coast in April and then playing a couple of shows of biblical proportion in May and June. Inspired by mega-churches and God Himself, a month after the first tour, air guitarists will confess their sins at a colossal Vegas show. Then in June, US Air Guitar headlines the historic Fillmore Auditorium – made famous by The Grateful Dead, Jimi Hendrix, and now, uh, us. Finally, after extracting the greatest professional air guitarists from 17 regional shows and sending them each to New York City for the National Championships, our US winner will book passage to Oulu, Finland, and represent the stars and stripes against 30 other countries at the Air Guitar World Championships. Last year the competition was tight, with two Americans tying for second and a Frenchman named Gunther Love taking the crown. But this year America has an imaginary axe to grind.

US AIR GUITAR CHAMPIONSHIPS
2010 TOUR DATES
Tickets On Sale Now

To Sign Up To Compete, Enter HERE!

April 6 || Harper’s Ferry || Boston, MA
April 8 || Johnny Brenda’s || Philadelphia, PA
April 9 || Brooklyn Bowl || Brooklyn, NY
April 10 || 9:30 Club || Washington, DC
April 12 || House of Blues || Houston, TX
April 13 || Highball || Austin, TX
April 15 || Metro || Chicago, IL
April 16 || Stonefly Brewery || Milwaukee, WI
April 17 || Varsity Theater || Minneapolis, MN
April 19 || Fox Theater || Boulder, CO
April 20 || Bluebird Theater || Denver, CO
April 22 || Dante’s || Portland, OR
April 23 || Casbah || San Diego, CA
April 24 || Troubadour || Los Angeles, CA

May 28 || Hard Rock Café || Las Vegas, NV

June 5 || The Fillmore || San Francisco, CA

Comments one of CYCLOPS' listeners, "air guitar is for losers. i can't wait!"

 Plays Peter Gabriel Tunes.  Even in the rain.

"What you don’t know is that Brooklyn Bowl is 100% wind-powered, getting their energy entirely from Con Ed Solutions, a leading provider of renewable energy and sustainability services.

"So for the New York Regional, the US Air Guitar Championships will be not only figuratively, but literally powered entirely by wind [for the first time ever?].  And wind is really just fast-moving air."

Mit shreds, Sanjar the Destroyer throws the horns while rocking an Umlaut shirt.

Quarters or tockens, very bad ass.

Click image to enlarge. Photo credit: Jeff Marshall.

MAGIC CYCLOPS just sent over this link.  There's a $500 scholarship for best 30-second air guitar clip.  It's available to "all fields of study," but you have to be at least 14 years old to apply.

As spring nears (you heard right, spring) 2010's contenders are already clearing snow from their cracks as the warm tidings and smack-talk trickle into our mailbag.  This note comes from 2009 US finalist SANJAR THE DESTROYER (STD).  Much like Austin's year-round preliminary dark horses, I guess Milwaukee is now following suit with its own pre-season qualifiers:

I knew that things could only get worse after my pants split down the front as I was warming up.  And to think I shunned leather pants the year before!  Damnit irony, you cruel bitch! So as I stood on that stage in that smoke filled bar slipping on PBR that had spilled all over the stage and my junk hanging out I knew the final nail in the coffin had come when my song didn't come out of the left speaker.

You see in all my arrogant wisdom I had made an edit that was recorded in stereo and faded back and forth between the left and right channels.  Of course the sound guy didn't really know or care and had the music piping in mono.  So when I was on the right side of the stage i was rockin, and when I was on the left side I was playing to nothing.  Awesome.

AND STILL I made it to round 2!

But It wasn't enough.  So I took my air guitar, air pyrotechnics, roadies, huge flying demon backdrop, foil wrapped cucumber and limped back to Chicago.  I cursed under my breath that I was quitting air guitar, but as anyone that knows me well...uh...knows...I'm a glutton for both pain and AIR. 

Spring will come, flowers will bloom, and everyone will get Herpes.  STD is coming to DESTROY.