Anchorman 3: Ron Burgundy Shreds
--This is a guest post by San Diego organizer, 2013 US National Champion, and, most importantly, Zubaz sponsoree, Lt. Facemelter.-- US Air Guitar returns to the vajazzled whale’s vagina on Saturday, May 31st for another year of alcoholic athleticism and questionable legality. This year, local Anchormen (and women) will be throwing down at The Merrow – a bad ass bar with great craft beer and plenty of room for leaping onto unsuspecting onlookers. Hosted by the current US Air Guitar Champion, Lt. Facemelter (Jason Farnan), he promises hot licks, cold beer and Zubaz. Lots and lots of Zubaz.
The new USAG format brought in a record number of rookies last year, some of which are poised for a sophomore appearance in 2014. Most notably is the return of the youth movement and inevitable leader of our dystopian future – Tyranicus, Lord of the End Times (Brandon Baker), who took second place in last year’s showdown. Hot on his heels was Kingslayer (Paige King), who will no doubt have her eyes on another round 2 appearance. And lest we forget local serial killer, Octane Fretty, who promises to focus more on his technical prowess instead of his lust for human blood. The rumor mill is buzzing with a potential appearance by HERvana (Amanda Nachman) and Axl Rose is a Big Fat Asshole (Geoffrey Gamble), though no one counts on the latter for pretty much anything these days.
Rounding out the veterans (San Diego has veterans now!) is the returning San Diego champion and the tallest man in air guitar, Jolly Green Shredding Machine (Nate Briles). And even though they hail from out of town, both Andrés Segoviair and Arora Nasty will be trekking in for another shot at the San Diego crown. There are also two confirmed newcomers, cloaked in a shroud of mystery. Will Optimus Shred (Richard McCalmont) or Air-o-Dynamic (Bunker King) have what it takes to win the crowd?
Presented by RIPS Entertainment and sponsored once again by 91X, they will be giving away tickets on air the week of the show. And the Zubaz sponsorship is very real, very comfortable and probably the most stylish show you’ll see all season. Expect mega swag giveaways all night long and for sexual tension to be through the roof. If you haven’t already, join the Facebook Event, tell your friends, your enemies, or just straight up knock out a coworker and drag them to the show. There are still slots open to compete and tickets will be available at the door for $10.
Hope to see you there, you smelly pirate hooker.