Boston's US Air Guitar Qualifier Promises Day-Drinking, Moms
-- This post is by Boston Qualifier organizer Captain Airhab, who is very particular about the word count.-- Ok here we go. Canadian Bacon just informed me I need to write the Boston preview blog post. So I'll be back in five seconds....Alright ready. I've got my beer that is best before Sept 24, 2013 (it was dusty) and my 7 layer dip tortilla flavored Combos (fuck Combos, I hate them, but I'm eating them anyway.) But at least Canadian Bacon just brought out the forty spices flavored hummus (I counted thirty-seven). But back to the preview.
Let's start by saying once again I feel like an asshole calling this the Boston Qualifier considering it's once again not taking place in the Boston city limits. Last year we had it at the fantastically great Radio (RIP) in Somerville. They were insanely welcoming for us Air Guitarists and in fact when I was there in November for a show (which turned out to be one of the last shows they held), Aimee (the owner) came right up to me and asked when the next air guitar event would be. Unfortunately shortly afterwards they had some electrical problems that forced them to shut down for awhile and eventually the city forced them to give up their coveted liquor license (death blow). So before anything else thank you Aimee and Radio for the amazing air guitar enthusiasm last year.
So this year we have found a new home at T.T. The Bear's Place in Cambridge, one of the major medium sized clubs in the Boston area, which I am really psyched to have booked. This will all be taking place May 24th. Doors at 5pm (don't forget to bring your day drinking livers). By the way, May 24th happens to be the the birthday of Canadian Bacon. And since it’s an early show we might just ask everyone to reconvene at our house for a post-show barbeque.
Pause for a second, it's time for a mead break. Ok done. You can ask Canadian Bacon, I did just take a mead break there. (oh also Canadian Bacon can you look on the internet and find a poop and/or dick joke to insert into this part of the blog, I think I had a lot more poop jokes last year).
When I first booked this qualifier I had no idea that happened to be Memorial Day Weekend, which has caused some issues. Apparently everyone on the planet is getting married this weekend and I can name at least five people from last year who are unable to compete. But our Boston regulars: Danny Tanner Tantrum, Operation Rock A Pussy, Rockupine, and Filthy Fingers will all be present (to quote TMZ [yes I watch TMZ] "Allegedly," they haven't actually signed up yet but have assured me they will be there). That was the peer pressure portion of this post. (but seriously, you guys need to sign up)
Let's move on to the judging section. Once again we have the most hilarious man in Boston, Chris Coxen, returning as senior judge on the panel. By the way he will be doing a comedy show the same night at the Comedy Studio in Harvard Square. Next up we have friend of the mighty Windhammer, Allix Mortis. And finally holy goddamn motherfucking shit, flying (that’s right, flying) all the way up from Philly to judge our little hodink (hodink is a word right? Hehe ho) event is President Baberham Lincoln.
Well I don’t know about you but the expired beer I drank in order to write this blog post has now started to wear off. So to wrap this little blog post up: my mom is gonna be at the show and I already told her she has to drive me home and Canadian Bacon is going to do a totally inappropriate song.
P.S. check the word count.