USAG Champions: Nordic Thunder, Scourge of God

During the Middle Ages, Anglo-Saxons believed the havoc wrought by invading Vikings was punishment from God.  Similar theories are held by NORDIC THUNDER’S Shytown competitors.

NORDIC THUNDER (Justin Howard) is Chicago’s three-time champion, winning every single regional competition he has ever entered**.  Experts maintain the only thing standing between Nordic Thunder and a family reunion at the World Championships in Finland is his health.  In 2009 NT was still rehabbing with his ‘bangover from 2008, when he threw out his back on stage at the Chicago regional.  Nevertheless, a month later he performed at the US Championships.  The pain was comparable to pillaging on horseback with hemorrhoids.  After months of missed work, memory foam and vicodin, NT finally complied with doctor’s orders to forgo competing in 2009.  That year the US Air Guitar Office of the Co-commissionership offered NT a seat on the judge’s panel beside the legendary HOT LIXX HULAHAN.  The two men have been inseparable ever since.

Each handmade trading card celebrates like never before the pillars of US Air Guitar – those members of the competitive air guitar community who have lifted the sport out of the bedroom, onto the stage, and now into the basement beside water-damaged sets of Magic the Gathering and d20 dice.

These limited edition jpegs come in two sets: CHAMPIONS (Tuesdays) and LEGENDS (Thursdays), featuring rankings and expert analysis on everything from competitor agility to homoeroticity.

**It has come to our attention from a highly credible source (Nordic Thunder) that Nordic Thunder has, in fact, lost one regional competition in 2007. This posting will nevertheless remain unchanged until this new information is confirmed.