Corp Takeover Under Investigation

In the closing hours of a grueling day of layoffs, luxury acquisitions and a $1400 bottle of Cristal, it's been announced that capitalist douchenozzle, The CorpAIRation (Brian Reeves), is under investigation by the SEC for possible insider trading, mere hours after he was behind the helm at US Air Guitar.  


Reuters Report CorpAIRation Net Worth From 1.2 Billion to 3 packs of Kools


The CorpAIRation was last seen leaving USAG Headquarters in handcuffs, remarking that he'll be using his one phone call to contact his attorney, Juris Rocktor.