High Kicks and Kisses from Seattle

Dear U.S. Air Guitar, Well, it’s been over a week since the Seattle Air Guitar Qualifier. And in the traditional, Pacific Northwest fashion, we are just now telling you about it. However, our taking-our-time-in-telling paid off, because accounts of the evening continue to surface due to Seattle Air Heads still talking about what they witnessed at this year’s Qualifier. Let’s recap the evening, and let you in on what everyone is all a buzzin’ about:

  1. Tony Tapatio kicked the evening off with an introduction performance like none other, air guitaring to an array of music, truly proving to everyone there that anything is possible with an air guitar. Audience members were overheard saying that his performance alone was worth the admission to get in.
  2. The Qualifier had seven competitors officially signed up, but by the time things got started, two more wild cards had joined, one even making it to the second round! But, more on that guy later.
  3. Before the first round was even over, a competitor got kicked out when he decided it was a good idea to piss all over (literally) the sound guy’s equipment. Truth be told, he wasn’t even close to making it to the second round anyway.
  4. One of our judges, a rowdy, raunchy clown by the name of Ronald McFondle, was getting a little too rowdy, and a lot too raunchy, as the show went on. Luckily, his faithful clown-girl Diddles kept him in check, and even filled in at times as a level-minded judge.
  5. You may have noticed that the Qualifier had little to no livestream footage. This was due to the poor internet connection of the venue, but also to the camera at one point falling from its perch, and landing on a pregnant woman (Fun Fact: she is the wife of Qualifier Winner, Sir Eddie Van Glam). Don’t worry; her and the baby are fine.
  6. Six competitors made it to the second round (there was a tie for third). Remember that wild card fellow who made it? Well, he went loco during his performance, and decided to throw a chair against the back of the stage. Which happened to be a mirror. Which he shattered.
  7. Seattle Qualifier does things a little differently, allowing second round competitors to have his/her choice among three songs to compete. As is Seattle Qualifier tradition, Spin Doctors’ Two Princes was one of said songs. And both of our soon-to-be-finalists picked this gem to rock out to. Let’s just say, even the Spin Doctors would agree these were the best two performances of Two Princes ever.

We congratulate our final two competitors, new-comer Sir Eddie Van Glam (1st), and once-retired-but-now-not Fender Splendor (2nd)! As you know, the two of them will be headed to the Portland Semifinals on June 17th, where they will air battle competitors from Boise, Portland, San Francisco, and, uh, Salt Lake City (is that happening?) to earn the ever so coveted, glorious honor of performing on the national stage in Austin, Texas.

We’d also like to thank all of our competitors, judges, stage and sound crew, the Lo-Fi, and of course, our fans. Their support and love for the air guitar is what keeps us all going.

High Kicks and Kisses,

Team Seattle Air Guitar

P.S. Be on the look-out for photos and video (fingers crossed on that one) of the event; will post as soon as they are collected and received!

Touradmin