Did I ever tell you about the time this year’s final Legend, McNALLICA (Erin McNally), saved my life?
Back in the day, when the USAG touring crew was knee high to a jack rabbit’s snatch, we three air roadies cut our teeth at a terrifying basement show in Boston, MA. It was my first show as official USAG blogger and it marked the start of the most prolific period of my then young life.
Never before had I so prolifically missed my every deadline, and never before had I officially “Air Traffic Controlled” 15 angry drunks, each of whom had paid a $21 eventbrite fee for world peace and also to murder me. Since I have an extensive checklist to review with contestants before each show, I opened with an easy one: “Don’t set yourself on fire, it’s against regulation.”
“—Fuck you, my cousin Timmy is a fiyah fightah.” Bad: seriously. Getting worse: like a haa’t attack.
Stryker and Hot Lixx, my road dogs, were being boyhandled by venue staff, while the competitors were closing in on me fast. JEFF LIGHTNING LYONS, whose rough and tumble way wouldn’t endear itself to me for another few seasons, was dressed as a middle-aged Carlton Fisk and wielded two Louisville Sluggers. Of the 15 would-be assailants, the only contestant not preparing to kick my ass was WILLAIRBY RALKEN, who was too busy loading cases of our water into the trunk of his car.
And then McNallica appeared like sunshine on Lost Boys. “Shut the hell up and let him get through the technical stuff,” she yelled. True, as Boston’s perennial champ, they feared her; but still they lacked understanding. “After that, he’ll bring you more beer.”
Now they understood.
McNallica has been one of our classiest acts since well before I signed up for this gig through court-ordered community service. It is with great pride that US Air Guitar, just one year overdue, wraps up its 2010 Legends Trading Card Series with equal class: rock-locked to one of the industry’s absolute finest.
Each handmade trading card celebrates like never before the pillars of US Air Guitar – those members of the competitive air guitar community who have lifted the sport out of the bedroom, onto the stage, and now into the basement beside water-damaged sets of Magic the Gathering and d20 dice.
These limited edition jpegs come in two sets: CHAMPIONS and LEGENDS, featuring rankings and expert analysis on everything from competitor agility to homoeroticity.