Legends: Rockness Fucking Monster dazzles, bewilders

When ROCKNESS FUCKING MONSTER (Fatima Hoang) performs, he’s either going to come in very first place or absolute last.  Like Sarah Palin, he’s a polarizing force.  But not because he’s a cunt, rather because not everyone “gets it” when a very angry dude floats onto the stage after 3 or 4 minutes of eating a watermelon in slow motion on top of peoples’ heads.  Whether the judges throw him all 6’s or all 4’s, the audience is never disappointed, always amused, and often confused.

He’s the “holy shit, HE’S competing tonight??” guy in LA, he’s routinely forced Björn into second place, brought US Air Guitar to the mystical island people of Hawaii, and in 2005 he nearly won the Air Guitar World Championships in Finland.  And now Rockness Fucking Monster is with us always, via limited edition jpeg, forever forth, crowned Legend.

High art, ya’ll.  High art.

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