Milwaukee: Today I learned how to spell you
Photo credit Miriam Doan, the Charcoal to our Fire.
Hot Lixx Hulahan (Craig Billmeier), the 2008 Air Guitar World Champion, each night unfailingly begins his contestant briefing by asking, “Who’s competed before?” And you know what, there’s something magical about seeing that first hand shoot into the air, especially when it belongs to State Representative Gordon Hintz (Krye Tuff ’05). Rep. Hintz (D–Oshkosh) took the lead judge position tonight, buttressed by Hot Lixx and a local radio personality Mark Keefe. After running through all the do’s and dont’s of competitive air guitar, Hot Lixx always then warns the performers, “don’t run off in between sets; you know, remember there may be up to two hours between your first performance and your second.”
“Stretch,”offers Rep. Hintz. Prudent counseling, Representative.
Rep Hintz and his entourage were of course expecting overflow from last month’s Chicago show to dribble over into tonight’s competition in Milwaukee. Braving the two hour drive through shitty weather in their moms’ minivans, Illinoisans (“Ill-in-NOY-uns”) CLEOPLECTRA & VAN DAMMAGE (Nicole & Luke Sevcik), and also DRY ICE (Aaron Alonso) took one more shot at air guitar fame and glory and free pita and hummus Wednesday night. Traveling farthest of all – a journey the USAG touring crew will themselves undertake Friday morning – was LOST HEARTBREAKER (Robert Nechanicky), trekking all the way from Minneapolis.
CLEOPLECTRA & VAN DAMMAGE, who share the bonds of matrimony and thus each other’s wafting poos, competed here in the Brew City in 2010, when Mrs. Cleo proceeded to kick her husband’s ass. She makes a point of mentioning this whenever introducing her husband to new people. But tonight, hubby Van Damage and the trademark “VD” etched into his chestpubes bested his better half, finishing third overall.
Lost Heartbreaker draws deuce once again.
The Lost Heartbreaker came in second, for the 5th or 6th time in his life. He is now just inches away from taking the Perennial Second Place Award from Björn Türoque (Dr. Dan Crane, Ph.D), who first received that accolade back in 2006 or so.
Tonight DRY ICE (Aaron Alonso) came out and showed all of Milwaukee, WI, why we do this. We’re going to be talking about Dry Ice all week, how he both terrified and impregnated us simultaneously, and we look forward to seeing him at the National Finals in Chicago on July 23rd.