San Diego Promises Complete Facial Destruction From Young and Old Alike

- This is a guest post by Lt. Facemelter, former US National Champ and organizer of the San Diego qualifier -  Sponsored by Zubaz and FM94/9, US Air Guitar returns to The Merrow this Friday, May 8th for another action packed show of San Diego's finest, fighting for a spot in the coveted Western Semifinals. Hosted by 2013 National champion, Lt. Facemelter (Jason Farnan), he promises death defying windmills, butt clenching power chords and a returning champion who finally turned 21 this year.

Tyrannicus

It's true. Manchild Tyranicus, Lord of the End Times (Brandon Baker) can legally defend his title this year. But it won't come easy with a long list of returning competitors, hungry for the throne. Perhaps seeking the most, or at least the tallest revenge, is lumbering giant and 2013 SD Champ, Jolly Green Shredding Machine (Nate Briles). Or will it be professional chair guitarist and 2014 semifinalist, Andres SegoviAIR (J.D. Frankland)? Don't let the cane fool you. I'm like, 85% sure it's a giant sword.

The youth movement continues with the return of Air-o-Dynamic (Bunker King) and newcomer and potential heiress to the throne, Empira, Queen of Armageddon (Angelyn Tallmon). Octane Fretty (Paul Harris) is set for a violent comeback, whereas mystery surrounds newcomers Flaming Pitz (Geoffrey Gamble) and Dewey Decibel (Ben Thomas). Speaking of newcomers, anyone remember this girl from last year's show?

Twitter promises

Perhaps an early candidate for "Best Kept Word of 2015", Whammy Bar Willie (Julie Williard) is signed up and ready to rock. I know Optimus Shred (Richard McCalmont) and his Twitter account are ready. Sweetness (Kyle Privette) is making his annual pilgrimage from Sacramento to woo the ladies, and AIRiel RipChord (Denise Brown) practiced so hard last week she threw her back out.

AIRiel Ripchord "Commitment, people!" "What's that bomb-ass shirt she's wearing!?", you say? That's the official San Diego Air Guitar shirt and they will be for sale at the show for just $10. Don't have $10? Try your luck in Plinko to win free Zubaz swag, Raffle Tickets and limited edition US Air Guitar Trading Cards!

US Air Guitar trading cards

Wait - what do the raffle tickets get you? How about a bad ass jersey from The Official Jersey Sweater? Or a gift card to Lt. Facemelter's favorite Ale House in Encinitas? If those aren't enough, FM94/9 is giving away tickets to the Dirty Parts Festival and the Foo Fighters. SWEET.

San Diego prizes

 

And what about judges? Oh we have judges. Dryw Keltz returns to the mic for his SEVENTH (that's 1, 2, 4, 8, SEVENTH) season of air guitar. We'll see the Queen of Portland Air Guitar and apple pie shot enthusiast, Kara Picante. And we welcome newcomer David Moye, who is a Staff writer for HuffPost Weird News and an all around awesome dude.

So get there early, grab a beer and hit up the merch table before it's too late. And then prepare your face because it's about to be rocked clean off. See you there, suckas!

 

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Touradmin