The unpublished screenplay of #USAirGuitar inspiration - NYC tonight!
The following post was written by New York 2013 US Air Guitar Qualifier promoter Joe LeVine.
Tonight's the night, NYC! The co-hosts of NYC Airaoke, the city's only air guitar karaoke show, bring you the US Air Guitar NYC/Manhattan Qualifier on their home stage at Pioneers Bar (138 West 29th St). The bar has extended Happy Hour from 8 to 9pm because they like us. Competitors should show up around 7:30pm and can bring their 60-second track of guitar swag to the show or email it to email@example.com. Don't forget to sign up on Eventbrite. Bring your own air guitar or rent one from the bar. Show starts at 8:30pm and is free to watch.
In lieu of telling you how awesome this is going to be (see the video of the recent 2013 Brooklyn Qualifier above if you have any doubts) , I'll share a pivotal scene in my screenplay about an over-the-hill dreamer trying to win back his former flame by winning the US Air Guitar Championship, only to find that true love is in the Air. And she's good.
INT. LOFT - JAMES' BEDROOM - NIGHT The room is still mostly dark. A clock reads 5:07AM. JAMES AKA ROCKA CON (39, balding and overweight) is fast asleep. STAN (his 25 year old roommate and lead singer of the local Philadelphia indie band, SkullFudge) stands over the bed and Curtis (SkullFudge's drummer who speaks with a fake British accent) is by the sound system.
CURTIS We sure we want to do this? STAN Push play.
A rock song blasts loud, waking James with force.
JAMES Intruder. Intruder.
The song is turned off.
STAN Easy, James. It's us. Time to start training.
JAMES What the? It's five in the friggin' morning. Are you guys insane? I have to be at work in three hours.
CURTIS No, we're drunk and gonna help get your butt in shape for N.Y.C.
STAN Now get ready before we pass out. Only five days left to train. (Stan tosses James his long-haired wig) Here, put this on.
EXT. CITY FIELD - DAWN Traffic cones are set up on the Astroturf soccer field. It's empty but for a few early risers running laps on the track. James, wearing grey sweats with tucked in neck towel, is out of breath at the 50-yard line as Curtis barks instructions through a traffic cone like a drill sergeant.
CURTIS Stage left. Stage right. Power kick.
James sprints left, right, then jumps and kicks into a split.
CURTIS Angus Young forward, back.
He imitates AC/DC's lead guitarists signature stage strut.
CURTIS Flying scorpion.
He jumps up and lands on his knees arching back, still air guitaring with style. He pops up and runs into a power slide. He screams in agony and joy. He knees are bloody.
STAN That one's on you Rock-ie.
EXT. PHILADELPHIA STREET - VAN - EARLY MORNING Stan and Curtis sit in back with the rear door open, drinking beer. Damien drives while James jogs behind with bloody knees. Music blares from the speakers.
CURTIS Get your hands up. Hit the notes. Hit 'em hard. Harder. Stan and Curtis mimic proper guitar playing. James drops his hands while running.
STAN Do you want this? You want to win?
JAMES I want to be the champ.
STAN Then show us. Speed it up, Damien.
James struggles to keep up then hits another gear, running as hard as he can with the wind blowing through his wig.
EXT. PHILADELPHIA - ROCKY STEPS The van slows down in front of the famous steps as Stan and Curtis jump out with their beers trying to race James up the steps. He blows by them. James reaches the top and jumps up and down, hands held high like Rocky Balboa. Stan and Curtis straggle up a few seconds later, high five him, and then puke. James jumps rope without a rope. ________________________________________________________
This is how the greats train to become champions. How much do you train? First step is to win a qualifier. Lucky for you, there are a bunch happening right now. Don't wait til next year.
Signing off, Your co-host of Airaoke, Joe LeVine aka Rhaka Con (a much younger and svelte version)