USAG to Dante: "Abandon all hope, ye who enter air" (streaming maybe)
Uninspired jobs, second-rate economy, rotten partners whose parents you still love. Alas, we have all shared twelve months of mediocre tangibility since we kicked off last year’s tour. Because historically speaking, invisibility is at its lowest through late spring, and thus airness suffers worldwide.
But Friday night everything transforms anew, when Master of Airemonies, BJÖRN TÜROQUE, emerges from his regular stand-up gig at the Borscht Belt Ramada and celebrity judge HOT LIXX HULAHAN’S mom hangs out with us air guitarists at Dante’s in Portland.
P-town is known for its tax evasion, food trucks, Airpocalypse, and the Red Line to City Center that delivers me from PDX to Dante’s in 34 minutes for $2.40. It’s also known for ERIK ITTAR (Erich Hacker), TONY TAPATIO’S (Antonio Cervantes’) bubble yum, and of course WHALIN BIGAIR (Mahlon Koopman) and his nude dancers. If you're not in town, Dante's soundman extraordinaire, Stevie, says we'll be streaming here (I'll believe it when I see it).
If you are in town, roll through to Dante’s Friday night or else suffer another twelve from hell. The Bible guarantees it once again.