What does Chicago's Qualifier have in common with a Tom Jones show?
-- The following is a guest post by co-organizer of the Chicago Qualifier (May 17th at Underground Lounge), Rocky Rhoads. -- Nelson Algren once wrote that loving Chicago is like loving a woman with a broken nose, saying: “you may well find lovelier lovelies, but never a lovely so real.” If Chicago is a woman with a broken nose, then the Chicago Air Guitar scene is a woman with a melted face. You may find lovelier lovelies, but never a lovely so willing to put her face close enough to something that will melt it.
Chicago is a town that shapes and molds champion air guitarists by putting them through a crucible of possibly the stiffest competition in the country, and the densest saturation of Airness, especially if you consider visiting powerhouses from elsewhere in the midwest. Additionally, consider the constant threats of demoralizing judging, Cubs game day traffic, stunts-gone-wrong, heavy hangovers, and fucking improv comedians, SO many fucking improv comedians. Chicago is a hard scene to come up in, but the scene makes you hard and you get all jaded but you still have a dream and a smile and you drive yourself to win because you know you've got a chance and you know you're awesome and you gotta SHOW 'EM ALL or whatever. There may be other USAG Qualifier Rounds, but never a USAG Qualifier Round so real. That's why you need to come compete in Chicago's Qualifier round. Air guitar in Chicago is a true proving ground. And your chance to prove that you can roll with the roughest and toughest rock and rollers around is on May 17th at Underground Lounge.
After the rousing and rowdy success of last year's Qualifier round at Gman Tavern, this year's show is looking to be at least twice as awesome if not more. I can only imagine that the awesomeness will continue to grow exponentially as the years go on. We're looking forward to seeing competitors old and new grace the stage with their rock. Watch out for the return of Midnight Maniaxe, last year's qualifier winner, as well as the tenacious Old Glory, whose patriotic wailing has stirred Americans' blood at Chicago air guitar competitions on a yearly basis. We also hear rumors and rumblings of the triumphant return of local national-level greats Thundergland and Mr. Serious. Perhaps even more exciting than watching these established titans shred it out onstage, will be the element of surprise that any brilliant, as-of-yet-undiscovered air guitar natural will bring to the show. Anything could happen people, this is an air guitar show and magic is real and possible. But wait, there's more!
You may remember the Underwear Bonus that WENT OFF last year because people love to throw things and people love underwear. Some people were so excited to throw underwear that they took off their own personal underwear and threw some of that. That is definitely in play again this year, because fun is fun. Bring your own underwear or buy some from us. Last year them junks sold out POST-HASTE so if you're real about this, grab a few pairs on your way out the door or at least be cool with going commando like a sport after throwing the pair you were wearing.
NOW LET'S ROCK AND ROLL IN CHICAGO, EVERYBODY!